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Please try the following:

  • Click the refresh.gif (82 bytes)Refresh button, or smash your computer with a large hammer. (If that doesn't work, try a bigger hammer).
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  • To check your connection settings, open case with a screw driver, then fill with gasoline. Now take a match and proceed to ignite. This should lower your stress level enough to find a serious geek to fix the damned thing . 
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  • Some sites require Windows to suck more than normal. Click the Windows menu and then click Windows suck rate to determine what strength "Suck" you have installed. 
  • If you are trying to reach a secure site, make sure you are not running Windows. Click the My Computer menu, and then right click Drive C:. On the Menu select "Format". 
  • Click the  Back button to try another link. 

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